Take Two

Symptoms persisted, and this time they had arrived unannounced. Problems with money followed. I’d bought goods amounting to £52. Counting out the payment, I counted £102. When the seller highlighted my error, I passed it off that I thought I had counted £10 notes rather than the £20s. I knew then this was an issue.

Fear centred around being unable to stop symptoms progressing and knowing there was no help available. It seemed that my previous efforts had achieved a delay but not prevention. In November 2018, I experienced the third neurological incident, which was much worse than before. I couldn’t stand up straight when I tried to walk. My body leaned to the right and maintained that position throughout the day. It was time to share my concerns with Ian.

A painful tummy took me back to nutritional medicine. I went back to my GP due to cognitive issues, but blood tests continued to produce no answers. I still felt I had to inform my doctor. If symptoms persisted, I might run out of luck one day. If I didn’t recover, at least I’d tried to get help.

I’d changed to a water filter, reduced plastic use, and my diet was 90% organic. Eco-friendly cosmetics and a reduction in perfume and hairspray use were added. Sometimes not knowing is worse, and my resolve broke a few times. I wondered if I had environmental illness because of insecticide exposure, as this had occurred previously. What was happening in my brain when I fell over and during sleep? It felt like there was no point in searching again. It was time to tell close friends I was having symptoms.

I had always thought I would never leave the church, even though my beliefs had differed from church doctrine. An incident, though, led me to decide it was time to honour them, and I found great comfort in doing things my way. I consider myself spiritual and sometimes wish I’d dared to step into my own beliefs earlier.Using cards for guidance isn’t a usual practice for me. But as I fell in and out of despair, overwhelmed as the reality of my symptoms hit home, I considered consulting Archangel Michael’s cards. I offered a prayer for help, and the card I drew read: This is Your Life Purpose.

Many of us in the alternative therapy field may consider we have a purpose in this lifetime – not from spiritual ego, but from a genuine desire to help. My life has often been overwhelming, and I’d accepted I’d missed the boat for being of more service in the healing field. But here I was, with an Archangel I felt close to conveying a life purpose.It was a purpose I didn’t want, though. I had symptoms nobody wants. To have lived through often unfortunate experiences this time around, contemplating leaving it like THIS was too much to bear. I wept. As I cried, for some reason I thought of Jesus in Gethsemane, asking for the fate that awaited him to be taken away. I didn’t have the grace to say, “Let God’s will be done.” I was too busy howling, “P-L-E-A-S-E... take it away.”

I had returned to work and began to experience symptoms immediately. If you are worried about cognitive decline, visit the Apollo Health website where you will find information on prevention of cognitive decline or the ReCODE protocol if needed.

Photo credit William Diagneault unsplash.